Over the years I've worked with many high achieving teenagers from the local exclusive high schools like Ransom Everglades, Columbus, Belen, Carrollton, La Salle, and Gulliver. They end up in psychotherapy for a variety of reasons but they usually share some characteristics. We all want our teenagers to succeed. Good grades, sports achievements, and extracurricular excellence are often seen as the golden tickets to a bright future. However, for some teenagers, the drive to achieve crosses the line from healthy ambition to debilitating stress. On the surface, these teenagers seem to have it all together—they are the "easy" kids, the straight-A students, the captains of the team. But underneath the accolades, they are often crumbling under the weight of immense pressure, terrified that one misstep will ruin everything.

​

Things go wrong when a teenager's sense of self-worth becomes entirely knotted up with their achievements. Instead of striving for excellence because they enjoy the process or the subject, they strive because they are terrified of the alternative. They may believe, consciously or unconsciously, that they are only as good as their last report card or game performance. When this happens, the natural ups and downs of life are experienced as catastrophic failures. The fear of disappointing parents, teachers, or themselves becomes a constant, low-level panic that never shuts off. This pressure accumulates over time, leading to burnout, anxiety, and a fragile identity that risks shattering at the first sign of struggle.

​

Counseling treats high achiever stress by creating a space where teenagers can put down the heavy burden of expectation. In therapy, we work to untangle their intrinsic worth from their external achievements. By exploring the history of where this intense pressure comes from—whether it's internal, familial, or societal—teenagers can start to understand the patterns that drive their perfectionism. This process allows them to "digest" their fears of failure and inadequacy in a safe environment. Crucially, this work doesn't mean they stop achieving; it means their achievement becomes safer, sustainable, and more about going for what they want rather than feeling beholden. A mind that is free from constant panic is sharper, more creative, and capable of higher performance without the inevitable crash. Layer by layer, they develop a more resilient, grounded, and authentic self.

​

Below is a list of common signs of High Achiever Stress that can help you identify if your teenager is struggling with this issue.

​

​